THE UPDATE
Here goes cycle #2 of my R-ICE chemo (yes, a little ahead of The Schedule posted last time):
- Tues: outpatient drip at Dr. Meyering’s office for 3 hours or so
- Weds-Thurs: at Los Robles for the nasty stuff…hopefully out by dinnertime on Thursday
We’ll be heading to City of Hope Friday for a consultation to hear about their autologous stem cell transplant program.
While my chemo symptoms became pretty minimal within a week of finishing the last cycle, the leg pain ramped back up to the point where it is really “running my life”. Hopefully with this second cycle, the leg pain will diminish in a more permanent way (it got really tolerable after cycle 1, but I had some steroid treatment at that time – no plans for steroids with cycle 2).
THE MUSING: I Don’t Know
I don’t know how or why I got this.
I don’t know when or if I’ll ever be cured.
I don’t know when my leg will stop hurting.
I don’t know when or if my foot will ever work again.
I don’t know if I’ll be the same when I “come out the other side” of this treatment.
I do know you’ll be there with me…which is my great consolation.
My greatest fear is that the person I become, maybe someone with chronic pain, limited activities and recurring health problems, won’t be worthy of your friendship and love.
WHATEVER
Have you seen “WhereTheTeslasGo”? This is Ben’s interactive map showing routes that Tesla owners have planned routes using our EVTripPlanner over the last year or so. http://EVTripPlanner.com/WhereTheTeslasGo
Cliphoma 
May the One who was a source of blessing for our ancestors, bring blessings of healing upon (recite the English and Hebrew name), a healing of body and a healing of spirit. May those in whose care they are entrusted, be gifted with wisdom and skill, and those who surround them, be gifted with love and trust, openness and support in their care. And may they be healed along with all those who are in need. Blessed are You, Source of healing. Amen.
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Hi Cliff. I think I understand, even if in a small way, your fears for the future and what it holds. Whatever transpires with regard to your health though (and here we all pray expectantly for full healing and restoration), know this: no matter what, you will always hold our love, affection and friendship. In short, your stuck with us! Yeah. So don’t be thinking you’re going to be able to pull this flimsy lymphoma excuse to get out of people always being there to care for/about you, go to lunch, drop by unannounced and generally make a nuisance of themselves enjoying your company and fellowship. The human qualities people appreciate about you reside in a place no disease can reach…and that isn’t ever going to change.
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Dear Cliff & Tracey,
Hope you’re hanging in there through the nasty stuff tonight.
Lot’s of love and big, warm back and forth ((((hugs)))) to you both.
Love,
Jen
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The musings voice all our thoughts, except the last one. As clearly noted by others, our love in unconditional. We are always with you, and everyone in your family. We are looking forward to seeing you soon. Maybe we’ll have time for a home brew on the beach.
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‘wont be worth of your friendship and love’? Sorry pal, our love is unconditional and always will be. Nothing will ever change that. You have got us forever, like it or not. Keep the faith and positive attitude.
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There is some elegance to reading your post on my Tesla screen. Much better than my phone, though probably not much safer in traffic! I need to drop your adapter plug back at your house and give you a demo of the radar detector install and amplifier upgrade. Yes, I am thinking about your suffering and pain, and have been saying misheberach, but my heart wants to take you biking in the hills again, or cruising 0-emission style through the canyons to the coast. Be well pal. I owe ya a visit.
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Dear Cliff and Tracey, we always have you both in our thoughts and prayers. We pray the next round will go easily and you will get relief from the pain.
With love,
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Dear Cliff. Thank you for these posts. And know that we are sending you our love and support as you go through this. Let us know if you are up for a visit 🙂
Cindy and Adam
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Cliff:
All our love all the time!!
Neah and Newman
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I’ll be there for ya, cliff!!!
Xoxo
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1. “I don’t know” makes us all uncomfortable and that just sucks. Let’s just all give a collective “finger” in the air to that one! Perhaps two.
b. Ben is amazing, I’m in his fan club.
III. Your worthiness of significant friendship and love is not shakable, how your friends handle the shift will depend on the friend and the fact is, you don’t collect shallow people, so no worries. Have faith in your good judgment, we will bend like the willow to the wind.
XXOO
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Fact: You are an ever evolving human being which means you will never be the same as you were the day before. Cancer will and does change you and all who are close to you forever.
Fact: No matter what you will be loved just as you have been or with greater intensity.
My positive thoughts are sent to you and your family every day. Know I am sending heartfelt love and strength. We may have only met a short time ago, but we are connected as only those who have taken this journey can be. I pray for pain free days and a quality of life you so deserve and desire. If you need anything please do not hesitate to drop me a note.
Fact: This SUCKS and It is perfectly okay to acknowledge it!
Fact: I told you before this one… Make your bucket list and do as many as you can handle at each moment on the journey. The memories will last until all eternity.
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Great seeing you Cliff and Tracey too. The Tesla may have to be your running legs for awhile. Dealing with the unknown must be frustrating for you. Thanks keeping us all in the loop. We will see you again in the next few months.
Any special diet for dealing withe chemo??
All the best from PDX. Bhl
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